Separation from parents and caregivers for long periods of time is causing emotional distress for children and young people. Separation is altering their relationships with absent family members, especially when communication is infrequent. Adults report that children are becoming undisciplined. Solo mothers report that they find disciplining children challenging in the absence of male parents, and reveal that they are sometimes perpetrators of violence against children.
Below is an excerpt from Chapter 3 ("The kids are sad": The lived experiences of children who are left behind) of The impact of Pacific labour mobility schemes on children left behind in Fiji, Samoa, Solomon Islands and Vanuatu: An initial study (September 2024).[1] This study focused on four Pacific countries, to initiate the exploration of issues impacting communities, families and, more specifically, children who remain in the Pacific while their caregivers work abroad.[2]
Emotional and mental health impacts on children left behind
Being separated from parents and family members who work overseas for long periods of time can cause emotional and mental health impacts on children, which were often articulated in terms of unhappiness:
"Interviewer: Have you noticed any changes with the children since their parents left?"
Interviewees: The kids are sad (Family, Solomon Islands: SI-FUF17).
"... they're not fully happy. It seems like they are missing their father" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF30).
Mental health impacts were also expressed as sickness. For example:
"When my brother left for the first time, his kids started to get sick, maybe because they missed him. We always took them around to divert their minds and make them happy" (Youth, Samoa: S-YRF7).
A young person in the Solomon Islands stated that his distress, as a result of worrying about his father while he is away, has caused him to seek medical attention:
"Yes, impact on health. Worry about him too. ... Sometimes my brother takes me to the hospital [the health centre, to seek medical help]" (Youth, Solomon Islands: SI-YRM6).
A stakeholder observed that a lack of communication with family members can result in low confidence for children:
"Sometimes both [parents] do not have good communication with them. I have talked to two girls, who have said that when their mother did not talk to them, they feel like they have a low self-esteem" (Stakeholder, Vanuatu: SGUM86).
Children are also clearly aware of the emotional impact of separation on the adult caregivers who remain:
"When my husband calls my youngest son would tell him that he should call mum often because she's sad" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF61).
As a consequence, young children often seek out regular contact from parents and caregivers who are overseas:
"... sometimes they will ask the mother, 'How long will he take? When is he coming back to Vanuatu? When will he call?' Like they miss their father, and they want to talk to him. But then she will always just say, 'Don't worry because this is the place where your father lives; at least he will come back here to stay'"(Family, Vanuatu: V-FRF60).
"Sometimes they cry and they want to talk to their father, and they want their father to come back" (Family, Vanuatu: V-FUF54).
In focus groups, young people were visibly distressed when discussing the absence of parents. One even mentioned the anger he felt towards his absent father, who failed to send home remittances, which limited their communication:
"I only call him when I am drunk and because I am angry" (Youth, Urban Vanuatu: V-YUM36).
Changed relationships between children and absent and returned workers
One caregiver expressed his concern that his grandchildren's bond with their mother had altered while his daughter was absent:
"When my daughter returned, her children were already closely bonded with me because we had been living together for a long time. I told her not to leave again. She should stay and look after the children. The kids are growing up and will be in school soon. I told her to stay back with the children and let her husband work overseas" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF43).
Young people discussed how the labour mobility scheme created distance between themselves and absent older siblings (usually brothers), especially in circumstances of limited contact:
"... the main thing is that we miss our relationship with our brothers. Anything can happen overseas; accidents can happen, and we miss them. I think it's better to be poor and happily be with each other every day. We just hope we see each other again" (Youth, Samoa: S-YRF7).
This quote illustrates the emotional strain and anxiety of distance, despite the economic benefit.
Returned workers also discussed the challenge in maintaining order and discipline for their children when they finally returned from overseas:
"There's negative impact on the relationship between parents and children. Even girls are becoming uncontrollable. My daughter used to listen and obey, but now I find myself blaming my family. I was away for six months, and my wife looked after the children. One daughter was looked after by my mother, and I think that's where the problem started."
"My daughter only listens to my mother and not to me because my mother spoils her. This creates friction within the family. ... So it was our mothers that helped out with the children which was a good arrangement, but I realize that it has affected our children's discipline."
"They are not listening to me - they are becoming uncontrollable" (Returned worker, Samoa: S-RWUM15).
In some instances, it seems that the relationship has become distant, as the returned parent has failed to understand that children have changed and even grown up while they were absent:
"Three years. He was gone and did not return until just now, and the children are already grown up at home. Yes, we are all grown up. I am independent. I am not close to him anymore. He thinks I would ask for money, but I don't ask for money from him. I hang out with my friends" (Youth, Vanuatu: S-YRM12).
In this example, it has been difficult to maintain a relationship between parent and child over a protracted period of time. The young person's exasperation and emotional distance suggest that the distance has been detrimental to his connection with his father.
Discipline, behavioural issues and violence
Caregivers and community members highlighted that children misbehaved or were difficult to discipline when parents and caregivers worked overseas. Solo mothers, in particular, frequently cited this as an issue:
"My main challenge is getting them to obey me and come home on time after school" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF50).
"I am also facing similar challenges. My older kids are okay, but my youngest son is hard to control" (Family, Samoa: S-FRF44).
"My son is an intelligent kid. He gets straight A's in school, but drastically dropped, and also his behaviour changed. He has become disrespectful and is disobedient. I always advise him well though" (Family, Fiji: F-FRF-1).
"I have also seen some negative changes in my children's behaviours while I was away. They are disobedient to their mother and retaliate when told to do something. This is also why I would be angry from this side" (Returned worker, Fiji: RWRF18).
Caregivers frequently explained behavioural issues as a consequence of absent fathers, who tended to be disciplinarians in families:
"The only difficulty I'm facing is the children's mischievous and inattentive behaviour. Even if I scold them, they still don't listen, but they do listen to their father. He has a way of dealing with the children and told me that they don't listen to me because of my harsh tone and advised I talk to them in a softer tone. My husband is not a violent person so when he's gone, I miss him because the children listen to him. He took our second son with him, which has lightened the load because our second son is the hardest to control. He is 20 years old and working with my husband" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF31).
"The only challenge I face is my children's inattentive attitude. The children are afraid of their father, and I miss him even more because he's the only one that the children listen to" (Family, Samoa: S-FRF46).
"During the first year he left, I noticed that they were not listening to me. When their father was here, he would only ask them once, if he wanted them to do something. But with me, I would ask them many times and sometimes they wouldn't bother to do what I asked. Also, when the father was here, they would come together for evening devotion, but now, they would come one by one, sometimes during evening prayer, my son was still swimming at the river" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF44).
"My boys only listen and obey their father, so I need him around this time because my kids are growing up with disobedience. If the father is here, they will listen and obey, but not when they are with me" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF30).
Some perceived children's misbehaviour as a response to being emotionally impacted by the schemes and missing their parents:
"The only negative side of the programme is missing the family. Children miss a father figure, and it becomes especially challenging to control boys when the father is not around" (Family, Urban Samoa: S-FUF44).
"One of the changes in my family is my son did not want to listen to his mum. ... Yes, my son's results had dropped compared to when I am with the family. He does not want to listen to his mum and sometimes did not attend school. I learned about this when I returned to my family. My children were homesick when I am away under the scheme. I have to talk with them regularly so that they feel I am still around them" (Returned worker, Solomon Islands: S-RWM16).
In some circumstances it does seem that solo parents are using violence to discipline children:
"Interviewer: Have there been any issues that the children share with their father when he calls?
Respondent: They told him about me smoking and that I hit them. So he advises me not to hit the children.
Interviewer: Why do you hit your children?
Respondent: They can be quite mischievous and challenging to manage. They seem to listen to their father and not me" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF33).
"... the main challenge is dealing with the children's mischievous and inattentive behaviour. ... My daughters sometimes resort to hitting their children, but I didn't raise them that way. I only disciplined them when they were older" (Family, Samoa: S-FUF43).
In both instances, the violence is described as contextual, rather than consistent with previous family dynamics, but in no context is violence against children acceptable.
Another stakeholder observed that children are now congregating on the streets in large numbers, in part due to a lack of support from parents. The above comments suggest that some of these children might also be escaping violence.
"... they are out there in the street, and most of them maybe are not in school, but a lot of them are in school too. Attending high school here in the evening, they're standing on the street" (Stakeholder, Vanuatu: V-SNUF77).
Another commented that there has been an increase in crime, but this is due to child abandonment and food insecurity:
"But leaving behind those kids, you know, stealing, killing, you will expect it, Vanuatu will expect it, more and more and more because they want to survive. They need food. And I know the government should at least look at every angle of life because it's really affecting those kids. ... And we don't know because Vanuatu, we want to produce lots of leaders, but with this type of programme, I don't think we [will] produce the leaders of Vanuatu. We are more supporting crime rate here on the other hand because if I want to eat you know rice and chicken and I don't have any money, you know, what else do you expect me to do? I might rob your house, you see" (Stakeholder, Vanuatu: V-SNUM88).
Others commented that children are also engaging in substance abuse, and that this is connected to the absence of parents:
"There's only the boys' gang mainly. There is a girls' gang too, but you can hardly see them. Inside the communities there is a group of young people less than 18 [years old]. They did not go to school, but they just sitting there in places, hotspot places and smoke. During weekends, they do not work, but every weekend you see them drunk. So where did they get the money?" Marijuana is common (Stakeholder, Vanuatu: V-SNUM86).
"Sometimes, I see young people like me whom their father has gone to the LMS, and I tell them, 'You need to take a break from drinking alcohol. When your dad is away, you drink [alcohol] a lot. You are not like that when your dad is here'" (Youth, Solomon Islands: SI-YRMI).
Following the release of the report, UNICEF brought together Governments from all the study countries along with faith-based organizations to review the findings. Recommendations from the seminar held in Vanuatu are documented in an outcomes statement entitled "2024 Seminar Outcome - Seminar on Protecting Children in the context of Labour Mobility," July 2024.
The full report is available at UNICEF Pacific Multi Country Office website, www.unicef.org/pacificislands/media/4641/file/UNICEF%20Pacific%20labour%20schemes.pdf.
For further information, please contact UNICEF Pacific Multi Country Office, United Nations Children's Fund, 3rd Floor, FDB Building, 360 Victoria Parade, Suva, Fiji; ph (679) 3300439; e-mail: suva@unicef.org; www.unicef.org/pacificislands.
[1] The study was jointly undertaken by United Nations Children's Fund, The University of the South Pacific, and Western Sydney University.
[2] See Executive summary of the report, page 1.